Sex may be pervasive in our popular culture, but conversations about it are still associated with stigma and shame in Indian homes. As a result, most individuals dealing with sexual health issues or trying to find information about sex often resort to unverified online sources or follow unscientific advice from their friends.
To dispel widespread misinformation about sex, News18.com is running this weekly sex column titled ‘Let’s Talk Sex’ every Friday. We hope to start the conversation about sex with this column and address issues of sexual health with scientific insight and nuance.
This column is being written by Sexologist Prof (Dr.) Saransh Jain. In today’s column, Dr. Jain busts myths about virginity and its mythical patron, the hymen.
The term virginity is commonly understood to refer to someone who has never had sex, but this leaves a lot of room for interpretation. Does oral sex matter? If a woman only has sex with other women, is she a virgin? And so on. Many myths about virginity are often accepted as true.
Virginity has a complicated history, and is often (incorrectly) linked to the rupture of the hymen. The hymen is a thin membrane that covers or partially covers the entrance to the vagina. In many cultures, before a woman is married, her hymen is examined to determine whether she is a virgin. Bloody sheets are seen on the morning after marriage as a sign that the woman has lost her virginity.
Here are some popular myths about virginity:
Myth 1: The hymen should break when you have sex for the first time.
The biggest myth about the hymen is that it breaks when a woman first has intercourse, and this results in bleeding, a sign that she was a virgin. In fact, many women do not experience hymen rupture or bleeding the first time they have sex. This is because the hymen can stretch.
Because of this myth, many women worry about pain and bleeding the first time they have sex, which can make it hard to turn. When a woman is aroused, the muscles near the opening of the vagina relax, and the vagina produces natural lubrication so that sex is more comfortable—even if it is just the first time. Worrying about the pain can cause the muscles to tighten and lose lubrication, which can lead to pain or bleeding.
Myth 2: Gynecologists can tell if a woman is a virgin by looking at the hymen.
It is generally believed that a health care professional can differentiate between a virgin and a non-virgin through examination of a woman’s hymen. This is far from the truth. The hymen can stretch and one’s virginity is rarely affected by it.
Myth 3: Your partner can tell you your position.
Many women worry that their partner may tell if they are a virgin. The truth is that your hymen doesn’t reveal your virginity status, and even professional medical experts can’t tell whether you’re a virgin or not. However, sharing your sexual history with your partner will help build trust and improve intimacy.
Myth 4: Pain during first time intercourse is just breaking your hymen.
The pain women experience when they have sex for the first time is usually not due to hymen-breaking. In fact, the reason it hurts so much is probably because the woman is nervous and has trouble getting aroused and lubricated, leading to a painful insertion; Or both partners may be inexperienced and over-eager, leading to minor injuries. In both cases, bleeding is most likely from your vaginal tissue, not your hymen.
Myth 5: Penetrative vaginal sex is the main sign of your virginity.
According to traditional beliefs, sex occurs when the penis enters the vagina. It is a redundant, false and misogynistic definition of sex because it does not account for homosexual sex or other forms of expressing sexuality. Whether or not something is “perceived” as sex often varies depending on these factors:
* Agreement
* ejaculation / orgasm
* Duration
* intention
* enter
It just shows that there is no one definitive marker of sex. Penetrative vaginal sex is one of many ways to express sexuality. How you define sex is up to you. There is no need for outside perceptions to define your virginity.
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