Today’s parents are more of a facilitator, keeping a respectful distance and enabling their children to determine their own future
In the world of online ‘pick and click’, arranged marriage system has assumed a new avatar. What is different now is the wide range of options, the freedom to explore options and the ease of negotiation, all of which indicate a clean break with a conservative past.
I remember a day in the mid-1970s when a match-maker (known as a marriage broker) handed over some matching horoscopes to my father to go into detail. There were also some pictures of grooms-to-be that didn’t impress me much, so I was a little more vocal about my thoughts. Soon, I was summoned to the kitchen by my crap mom, who in a fierce whisper was waiting to provide me with a homely truth, “Now, if you’re looking for someone like the protagonist in your Mills & Boone novels So, let it be! Such a man won’t take a second look at you or me. So, let’s be realistic, shall we? Then I confronted him with the prospect of being rejected even by ‘non-heroes’, but he reassured me Given that he too would be properly counseled on the impracticality of seeking out Miss World for the bride. So much so! With little choice in the matter, it was the plight of a pair of frogs united in marriage by the villagers for a good monsoon. Will remind – in the case of humans, to fulfill a duty.
Today’s parents are more of a facilitator, keeping a respectful distance and enabling their children to determine their own future for themselves. In contrast, the parents of the previous generation were constantly worried who could not give up their control over the situation. Most of the times, they monopolized the entire show, from choosing a partner for their kids to deciding on the location of their honeymoon. In the meantime, what they shouldn’t do to the soon-to-be-wed bride or groom, at least until the knot is tied, to ensure fair treatment in front of future in-laws , remember to come up with a list of . , I remember at least two commandments on D-Day, “Don’t laugh too much like an over-eager bride. Let there be self-restraint!” and “Don’t fret unnecessarily until all the rituals are done.” Do it!”
In such a harsh environment, romantic connotations, if any, between the couple would fall flat with jokes and ridicule made at their expense by boyfriend-girlfriend friends and cousins. In fact, the whole ceremony was like a project that needed to be completed on time to the satisfaction of all. Once the rituals were over, there was more for the young couple. They were expected to walk around the marriage hall and worship themselves in front of every elderly person present to seek their blessings. No wonder, by the end of the day, his smile stuck on his lips without reaching his eyes because of the pain in his knees and feet.
Imagine the pain of remorse when, at a recent wedding ceremony, I heard the priest announce through the mic, “All you elders, please gather in front of the stage and be ready to bless the young couple. There is only one simple ‘Namaste’ in front of you all because that’s enough!” How fast and easy – no stress, no pain! Here’s yet another reason for current newlyweds to believe that marriages are indeed made in heaven.
saraswathi100@yahoo.com