For as long as I knew Fufi, nothing got under her skin as much as she was unable to continue her education after the sixth grade – but she had no money when her grandfather died. This explains why whenever she felt I was satisfied with my education, she came down on me like a ton of bricks. She would scold me badly and say, “Do you want a man to explain your whole life to you?”
I did not understand what he meant and often wondered why a man would need to explain something to me if I remained uneducated. But as a very wise woman once said, there are years that ask questions and years that give answers.
Fufi’s village had a primary school for girls which was built after much struggle. It was a modest building with two rooms on the edge of a huge field. The location meant that in summer little girls could play outside and do their lessons under the shade of walnut trees. One day, the students noticed that there was a security bunker on the way leading to their school. it was a little scary for them to go through security gonna, But they could not do anything.
On a hot day in June, Fufi had gone to inspect the paddy fields when she ran into the only teacher working at the school. They inform him that there has been a decline in attendance over the past few months and that if things continue like this, the authorities will probably close the school. Distressed, she went to see the villagers. Most of them refused to tell him anything until he threatened to turn one into a chicken if he told them the truth. It turns out that security Wallace Harassing the girls. They used to call him and say lewd things.
I was waiting in the kitchen for my aunt to return home just before evening prayer. She was looking tired. She refused to talk to anyone and went straight to bed. When I woke up in the morning, his bed was empty. In the kitchen she was instructing the gardener to buy a couple of chickens. she was about to make chatte rass (a broth made from chicken or lamb with anise and turmeric). It is usually made for children, the elderly, postpartum women, and sick people. Aunty would also do this when she felt that you needed a good dose of courage.
“Closed eyes is also a kind of disease”
, Photo credit: Illustration by Sonali Zohra
“Is anyone sick?” I asked
“Why aren’t you studying?” He Said.
“I… haven’t even had breakfast yet,” I stuttered.
“Don’t let me catch you without your books,” he said, almost hissing at me.
So, I disappeared. When I heard loud noises from downstairs, I had made up my mind not to show my face to him for the rest of the day. I went down the wooden stairs. From the first floor I craned my neck and saw someone in uniform running towards Fufi’s room. I ran downstairs but by the time I reached the door, everything was quiet. I was standing outside when I heard a man’s voice, “I’m a very busy man. What do you think you can call me?
Fufi replied, “I didn’t know someone could come to your camp and ask you.” His voice was calm and steady. She’s not afraid, I thought.
“what is it you want?” He asked.
I tried to peep through a small hole in the door, but all I could see was her knees, a small table with a bowl chatte rass and a spoon.
“Please, have something,” said Aunty.
“Is it poison?” He asked.
“I’ll tell you if it were,” he replied.
I hear he starts eating. Fufi did not say a word while eating. When he had finished, I heard him say, “I know you are aware of the state of the elementary school. What are you going to do to improve it?”
“Reform? Nothing. It’s all a bunch of lies.”
“You know,” replied Auntie, “there are only two ways of knowing the truth. You either see it or you believe what you are being told. Now, you clearly believe that every Somebody is a liar, so…”
“But,” he replied, but Fufi interrupted him.
“I know what you’re going to ask. Here,” she said. I could see her hand pushing a small bag toward her. “A little courage.”
I could hear him rustle before laughing.
“I look forward to hearing from you,” said Auntie.
On my way out, I almost fell over when he slammed the door open. Aunty was staring at me from inside the room. “Didn’t I tell you not to let me catch you without your books today?” she asked angrily.
“Why did you make him chatte rass, He didn’t seem ill,” I replied.
He looked at me and sighed. she sat down, took out two cigarettes from him again pocket and lit them. “Closing the eyes is also a kind of disease,” she said.
A few months later, a villager came running to tell Fufi that the bunker had been removed. We were having tea sitting in the kitchen.
“You cursed chatte rass You gave it to him, didn’t you?” I gasped.
“And waste a good bowl chatte rass, He replied.
“How did you do that?”
“I gave her my Burqa, so that he could wear it and walk by the camp to see what it was really like. I think he did,” she said.
“Aunt, why are you so worried about school? Girls can go to another school.
“If this school closes, they will not be able to go anywhere else. An education lessens the power of others over your life. People think that when you go to school, you only learn how to read and write, but the truth is that you actually learn how to think. The more you educate yourself, the less the world will think of you,” she said, taking a cigarette out of her cup of tea.
“Now get up and finish your school work. Do you want a man to explain things to you for the rest of your life? He Said.
saba mahjoorA Kashmiri living in England, she spends her free time contemplating the uncertainties of life.