How to break the cycle of knee-jerk reactions and improve your relationships

The term knee-jerk reaction describes our rapid reactions, which can be brought on by physiological reactions.

Have you ever gotten angry and said something you immediately regretted? This is known as the knee-jerk reaction. Learn more about this event here

Have you ever said something in anger and then quickly wished you could take it back? Or have you ever said something out loud that hurt you and the other person? We are all familiar with the phrase ‘think before you speak’. But often, during an emotional moment, we lose control of our words. It spoils our relationship forever and unintentionally hurts the other. There is a term associated with this type of behavior. This is called the knee-jerk reaction. Simply put, it refers to all those reactions you do without thinking.

The knee-jerk reaction is a term that refers to our quick reactions, which can be the result of our physical reactions. For example, when our knee is hit at the right point, it causes our leg to kick outward in rapid response. However, the term covers all kinds of reactions that happen quickly, such as publicly insulting someone, making a hurtful joke, or hitting someone during an argument. Although these reactions may not be intended to hurt or disrespect the other person, they can be challenging to control.

Therapist Elizabeth Earnshaw offered some advice for those who experience a sudden reaction and listed some things they can do in such situations:

  1. Be alert: A simple yet effective way to stop jerky reactions is to practice mindfulness. When faced with an emotional trigger, controlling your reaction can be challenging. However, by being aware of your choice of words and taking some time to think before you speak, you can prevent potential damage. Try repeating your thoughts in your mind before saying them out loud. This can help you spot any harshness or negativity in your words and give you a chance to rephrase them in a more thoughtful and respectful way.
  2. Stop and Breathe: This practice helps one to remain alert. Anger, anxiety and stress can indirectly affect the way we think or speak. Taking some time to breathe can calm your nerves. Then you can start thinking with a clear mind. You have the chance to speak and react more intelligently. This will save many relationships from breaking.
  3. Note your reactions: The therapist says that one should pay attention to their knee-jerk reactions and choose a different option. To begin with, one can mentally take note of some of their reactions in the past and determine instances when they were more likely to fit. Identifying their trigger points can prevent more bad relationships in the future.
  4. Respond with a range: When you naturally start to respect other people’s boundaries, you’re unlikely to react with indifference. Be sure to tell yourself that there is a limit to which you can stretch any argument or joke.

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