If as many people read books as there are bookshelves for Zoom calls, the average author would have a much better standard of living, and a much healthier bank balance. Somehow, only when it comes to video calls is everyone and his plumber bibliography savvy.
Don’t get me wrong – I don’t mean that plumbers don’t read books. But we live with stereotypes and the stereotype of a plumber is such that you don’t expect him to read Karl Marx’s Eighteenth Broiler of Louis Bonaparte when he is not fixing a tap. But life is always busting stereotypes.
Recently I was on a video call with my plumber. I wanted his approval for a toilet seat cover I had to buy. When I called him from the shop, I found him sitting at a desk. Behind his head was a wall of books featuring a wide range of authors – from Leo Tolstoy and Arthur Schopenhauer to a writer friend of mine called ‘the Devil God’. In contrast, behind my distinctive-looking head was a wide array of toilet seat covers.
I couldn’t help but politely inquire: “You seem to have a large collection of books. Have you read them all or is this a virtual background?”
The plumber smiled, and his answer, roughly translated from my Hindi, was a counter-question: SirLooks like you have a huge collection of toilet seat covers. Is it a virtual background or have you worked your way into all of them?
displaced by Katta
My point is simple: We are a society that traditionally discriminates against people based on their caste, class, religion, clothing, manners, accent, the cost of their means of transportation (including road tax), their salary, their boss’s salary, etc. Let’s figure it out. , and of course, whether their children are comfortably settled in a first world country or sitting at home in Ukraine after an aborted mission of affordable education. So, why not stick to our traditions instead of suddenly changing the rules and forcing everyone to organize a shelf of books because they don’t want to be judged on their Zoom background?
Thanks to the fraud known as ‘online classes’, I have to hand over my book-lined studies to Kattabomman. Naturally, his books have taken the place of mine. But I still go back there for zoom calls because the internet is reliable there. Many of these calls are from old friends. While most of them have, over time, moved to different parts of the same doomed planet, they have two things in common: they are all co-founders, and they all sit in front of a bookcase while facing the camera. – Especially those who have not read any book since 12th.
humble reader
During one such virtual ‘party’, my own bookshelf became a target. Because this dude and his latest wife – I’ll call them DJ and AJ, respectively – launched their assault indirectly, I didn’t see it coming.
“So Sampath,” began the DJ, “as Asia’s finest book reviewer, suggest a good book.”
“Please,” I said, being my polite self. “I will not deny that I am the best book critic in Asia. But at heart I am just a humble reader.
“So what are you humbly reading these days?”
i just wanted to check london review of books But its website was very slow.
“What can I understand,” AJ said, narrowing his eyes, “Sampath is busy studying, let me see… Jataka Tales: The Crocodile and the Monkey, tiggy the tiger, sleeping BeautyAnd In search of Stincodon,
They wouldn’t let me explain that they were Katta’s books. Or allow me to expose the hypocrisy of those who claim to only ‘read’ audiobooks but shamelessly use physical books as wall decor. I also know of an ‘Influencer’ who changes the title from webinar to webinar on his bookshelf based on the profiles of other participants.
Meanwhile, my Zooming ecosystem got another blow last week. Katta having finally discovered the joys of double-sided tape went berserk, pasting them all on the study wall. I saw them right before an important Zoom call and in my infinite wisdom, decided to do a quick cleaning.
As soon as I peeled off a strip of tape, to my horror, a large chunk of plaster came off the wall, leaving an ugly wound the size and shape of Mongolia. There was barely any time for the meeting to start, so I ran into the living room, where my father likes to sit in an easy chair with a book. There were many titles. I picked them up, took them to the study, and arranged them on a bench by the wall so that they completely covered the plaster-free patch.
When the Zoom call started, obviously the first comment was on my improvised book collection.
“So Mr. Sampath, never knew about your keen interest in spiritual matters.”
spiritual matters? I turned to check and there it was – the most prominent title in the pile Selected Discourses of Sri Ramana Maharshi,
Mr. SampatThe author of this satire is the editor of Social Affairs, Hindu,
This column is satirical on life and society