“We have started a special movement on behalf of our Sangam,” said the president of the Thamiznadu Brahmin Association (Thambras). N Narayanan In an open letter published in the November issue of the association’s monthly Tamil magazine.
Citing rough estimates, Narayanan said that over 40,000 Tamil Brahmin men in the 30-40 age group could not marry because they were unable to find brides within the state. Giving ballpark figures, he said, “If there are 10 Brahmin boys in the marriageable age group, there are only six girls available in Tamil Nadu.” The association head said in his letter that coordinators would be appointed in Delhi, Lucknow and Patna. to take the initiative forward. Narayanan said a person who can read, write and speak in Hindi would be posted at the association’s headquarters in the city to play the role of coordination. The Thambras chief said that he is in touch with the people of Lucknow and Patna, adding this initiative is practical.
While many welcomed the move, there were many who were surprised. M Parameswaran, an educationist, said, “Although there are not enough Tamil Brahmin girls in the marriageable age group, this is not the only reason why boys cannot find brides.” She wondered why the parents of prospective grooms expected luxurious weddings. “Why do the parents of boys want the marriages to take place in a luxurious marriage hall? What stops them from getting married in a simple way? Why not in a temple or at home?” He asked.
Parameswaran said that the girl’s family has to bear the entire wedding expenses and it is a curse of most communities. “Big, fat weddings have become a status symbol, but unfortunate. The community must choose progress and reject the regressive.” he said.
Ajay, a young man in search of a bride, said: “Now it is not uncommon to see Tamil-Telugu Brahmin marriages or weddings between Kannada-speaking Madhavas and Tamil-speaking smarts. Several decades ago something like this was unimaginable.”
A Vaishnava Tamil Brahmin, on condition of anonymity, said, “Years ago, marriages between the Thenkalai and Vadakalai sects were also impossible in the Iyengar community. Today, it is happening… the association’s move is welcome.”
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