MFriends, on January 24, due to power failure in Pakistan for 16 hours, all of you were scared. You thought tanks were rolling in – not enemy tanks, but me, your favorite General Twitter was about to control your destiny. today, Alhamdulillah – Praise God – Pakistan is still a democracy. No “My dear compatriots” for now. You can thank me later.
People endlessly advise me that now is the time to take over the reins of Pakistan. You idiot, I’m already in the driving seat; Why would I impose martial law and invite your wrath? Trust me when I say I’m your neutral army chief, it’s not like you have any other options to play with.
my day military personnel (Army personnel) climbing the gate of Prime Minister’s residence are far behind all of us. I assure you. Why would I be interested in becoming the official ruler of a country that is going bankrupt? Even my dearest Taliban say they have no interest in taking over Pakistan – who will pay its debt? If there were enough dollars in the kitty, I’d play ball. Until the money comes, let me sit back and enjoy the bickering of politicians. After all, we run the General Show, our politicians are a mess. It has worked beautifully for almost 75 years, and I believe it will work till the end of time.
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Forget the small talk, I’m a pro soldier
Now don’t get emotional on small things like losing a part of your country in 1971, creating a terror jinni Like the Taliban, destroying entire societies, constantly destabilizing our prime ministers, or driving Pakistan to the brink of default. After doing this and much more, let me tell you – The country is going through a critical phase (The country is in a critical situation)!
I do not sit idle and do nothing for my country. I am paying the price for past institutional mistakes, like the army chiefs before me. I run around the world with a begging bowl for my country. Why else do you think I was in Saudi Arabia or the United Arab Emirates? Not that I’m complaining, but, sometimes, I wonder how many Indian Army chiefs would have gone to Crown Prince Muhammad bin Salman to discuss ‘matters of mutual interest’ – ‘show me the money’ Our code for ‘. sHeek, But then again, only professional soldiers like me indulge in this kind of geopolitical begging. ,one Soldier this is not poheyWhat did the small country do for him…The dialogues are inspired by my real life character. do not believe me? Ask Shahrukh Khan.
For the record, I have never heard a Bollywood song in my entire life. I believe in the motto of the army “IValue, TeaAqua, JayI had,Fi-LikeBilillah” (Faith, piety, fighting in the way of Allah) remains intact. Though if spy movies are the new fashion, then I might as well make up my own spy universe. There was one Majnu either mission loan, After all, I was the chief spy of the Inter-Services Intelligence (ISI), and my exploits of finding and reporting corruption in the Prime Minister’s House when Imran Khan was in power is now a legend, even if I am not that good As Sidharth Malhotra in Taking Measurements. Rest assured, I am fitter than the Indian Majnu.
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mission peace time
I know that there were many hurdles in my appointment as Army Chief. Not only was there a power struggle within the army, but some of my soldiers tried to convince the Saudis that I was a Shia and therefore not eligible to be chief. Shocked? Don’t be, because my army is so professional. Better to be wrongly labeled as a Shia than to call my predecessors an Ahmadi. General Qamar Javed Bajwa took months milad And what not to certify Sunni clerics as non-Ahmadi. For being Hafiz-eThe Quran also helps my religious credentials. The evil plans of my enemies will never succeed. House societies, marriage halls, golf courses, my regiment of huge clubs, soldier The foodies are always ready to give a befitting reply to the enemy.
I also want to extend our solidarity to the Brazilian army chief who was dismissed for political interference. What kind of behavior is this, President Lula? Believe me, this cannot happen in Pakistan. Thanks to our dynamic record of jailing prime ministers who tried to sack army chiefs.
Peace, not war, is my mantra for 2023. India is well aware of my plans to live in peace. I attribute the same to any life in the United States, the Taliban in Afghanistan, and even Mars. Seeing myself in the mirror, I have also convinced that Pakistan wants peace. Don’t know why the world doesn’t accept my peace proposal. My friends, it looks like it’s time for mission peace.
This is part of a topical, irrelevant take on Pakistani issues by General Twitter. The authors’ real names will not be disclosed because they do not want to be taken too seriously. Thoughts are personal.
Editor’s Note: We know the author(s) very well and only allow fictitious names when we do this.