From cake throwing day to bedtime day, you would think that we have something for everyone. let’s correct you there
Today we are all living in the era of social distancing. No, this is not a viral joke. OK, but that was it! pick him up?
What I am talking about is how connected we are all and yet so different. We wish everyone the best on one or the other online platform, even posting a picture with them; We celebrate every festival from Thanksgiving to Diwali to Eid, even Valentine, in an effort to wake up and look with it. But here are some days we need to celebrate but not yet. Let’s give social media a real boost this year by installing some of these.
1. Porn Star Day: You know how they say, never meet your porn star? OK, They Say Hero, But Is It Really That Different? The funny thing about porn is that it’s a billion dollar industry and yet I can’t find more than two people in any room who admit to watching it! Maybe if we had a day for them, each one of them would find it a noble cause.
2. Alternative Uses for Tea Casual Day: If this generation continues to extract tea by dipping dust bags in hot water, then tea as an art will soon disappear. Nobody does teapots anymore, it seems. Maybe spending a day out for tea will rekindle that romance. I don’t want to live in a civilization that is too raw for coziness of tea.
3. Memorial DFor Lost Socks: Remember it more. I don’t know where they go or which way they go, we can only hope that they are happy and find a new partner. Over here, let’s add the unfinished Chapsticks. If you’re the type who watches Chapstick all the way, please turn yourself into a psycho.
4. Harassing Your Pets Day: Why should Fido have all the fun? Just one day I want to give them a taste of their own regenerating medicine. I want to make them feel that where they stand, or sit, or stay, they grunt and whisper. Pee on their bed, spoil their toys, chew on their favorite leash maybe… I don’t know, I’m spitting in here. What would you do that would make your pet feel low about you? Voila!
5. Card for Hallmark Day: This is special, where we give thanks to those who give thanks. This is the day we will send them cards despite knowing that they will either (a) be already making a profit from thank you card sales and/or (b) steal our card ideas for their next print run .
6. Men’s Day Reminder Day: We need a day, just a day, to remind all men (cis-, undecided, or otherwise) that there is only one International Men’s Day and the remaining 364 (okay, now 363) are definitely not theirs. On this day, like Men’s Day, we can leave the seat up, not lock the cupboards, forget things, mansplain, and even man-spread on public transportation, all we want. And no one will be allowed to object.
7. A day for poorly cooked food: This dark and dynamic memorial day for slabs of meat that died twice, once when they were killed and once when they were massacred on the grill by some master chef wannabe. All food deserves respect, especially the one that was not shown at the time of preparation. Because of this exact feeling of mine, many Indian restaurants are nothing but graveyards for me.
This column is for anyone who gives an existential toss.
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