find your inner dog

Although I am a mainstream Indian journalist, I have little to do with dogs. I know it’s hard to set up objectively, but that’s what I’ve always believed. However, my perspective changed when I found out doggy guardian. For those of you who don’t follow dogs or have dogs following you, doggy guardian (no relation to UK based Guardian) is a classic revelation founded on the philosophical (and spiritual) premise that there is a dog inside every person.

You must be wondering what inspired me to take up Dog Magazine. Has human journalism stooped so low that I’ve turned into a different species of media altogether? Not necessarily. It all started with Kattabomman’s decision that he urgently needed a puppy.

They were doing a chapter on different types of animals and one type is, apparently, pets. Her teacher asked the class who has pets. Half a dozen children raised their hands and immediately started showing off. Six snouts appeared next to six ferocious faces on the screen serving as Katta’s ‘school’. I was stunned. For some reason, all domesticated animals were dogs—not one of them was a snake or a crocodile.

How about snakes and crocodiles?

If you are a fan of America’s Tik Tok videos, you would know that snakes and crocodiles make excellent pets if you treat them well. But the problem with us Indians is that we are in the midst of extremes. Either we avoid snakes and crocodiles altogether, or we treat them very well, even going to the extreme of choosing to power them – a practice not recommended by most wildlife experts. Is performed.

Anyway, the teacher asked the children the names of their respective dogs. The answers were as follows: Aarav’s dog was Tiger, Anvi had Zebra, Atul had Bobo, Anaya had Zingo, Abhay had Rex, and Akriti had Coco. Katta made me sit with him, and I was not a dog, at least not literally. For the first time, I found myself living up to my son’s expectations.

Katta looked at me, his eyes widened and said, “I want a dog.”

“You want a pet,” I said. “You don’t know if you want a dog.”

“No, I want a dog, a puppy. I want it now,” he said. In no time, quiet tears and mute pleading turned into a Level 5 tantrum with surround sound. Thankfully we remained mute spectators. I tried to reason with him.

“You don’t need a separate pet dog,” I said. “I can be your pet dog.”

“But you don’t have a tail,” said Katta.

“Good point,” I said. “But unlike a real dog, I would never bite you.”

“But you scolded me,” she said, tears flowing. “A real pet would never scold me.” “Fair enough,” I said. “I think the point of owning a pet is having someone you can scold at.”

“I want a puppy,” she repeated. “Get me one now.”

“Okay,” I said. “You have to stop crying first.”

Actually, I like cats more. But I don’t mind a dog if he looks like a cat and says ‘meow’ instead of ‘bow-wow’ or ‘the country wants to know’. However, the wife tried to go to all the talismans when you mentioned pets. She was not allowing the dog to enter the house in any way.

google my friend

So I did what anyone could have done in my place. I asked my trusted friend, Google, for advice. I typed “what to do when your kid wants a dog and you don’t want one?” in the search box. I stumbled down the rabbit hole of canine agony aunts offering advice on a number of problems I had no idea: is it ethical to share videos of your dog without their prior and informed consent? What to do when your own dog doesn’t trust you? How to tell if it’s you or your dog going crazy, and what should the dog do if it’s you?

My Fall Down Through The Rabbit Hole When I Came To The Website doggy guardian. Specifically, on an essay titled ‘How to be happy in a world dominated by tyrannical humans’.

Its central thesis: If you are a dog and want to be happy, keep your inner human on a tight leash (the ‘inner human’ is the human super ego that every dog ​​develops over prolonged exposure to human company). . But if the bad karma of your past lives has led you to become a human being, don’t be discouraged – the key to salvation is to discover your inner dog.

The ‘inner dog’ is the hidden self that embodies the fanatical dog qualities of wagging your tail, licking your owner, and living in the present. I’ve spent the past week seeking my inner dog to come out and play, partly to console Kattabomman, partly to seek enlightenment. But the road to self-realization is not an easy one. Will keep you posted on my progress. In the meantime, try yourself.

Yes. Sampath, the author of this satire, is the editor of social affairs, Hindu.