in chat with etimes Over a video call, the actresses get honest about why they signed up for the film, how they hope to change the ‘No Means Yes’ narrative and stalker culture in Bollywood and even power How have men monopolized the institutions and women have to bear the brunt of it? Diya also shares how she hopes this Amazon MiniTV short will empower youth, including their children, by providing them with the tools to set boundaries and deal with unpleasant situations.
Tell us a little about your characters and what signed you on for this project.
Shreya: I don’t know how much story we can give, as it is a very delicate subject. It’s about the lines that people sometimes cross without even realizing it. It speaks to the need to have a boundary and be comfortable in one’s own space and what to do when that space is violated. The lovely Dia Mirza plays a therapist that my character goes to when there is a certain violation of boundaries, spaces and consents and how they navigate the situation together.
Lamp: Consent is honestly something that we as a society have not fully understood. Take a look at the news and you will see what kind of things happen around us. Consent is something we just don’t understand. We have this big debate going on right now about marital rape, so I think consent is something we should all learn about and better understand. The most exciting thing about being a part of this story was the opportunity to educate people and help them learn and understand something so sensitive and simple. and like Shreya That said, it’s handled very delicately and sensibly, and it’s something that will speak to a lot of people. I hope it gets a wider view because it will help a lot of men and women navigate their relationships more responsibly.
Every single woman will relate to this story, as each and every one of us has gone through something like this at some stage or the other. This is what sets it apart from other films.
Dia Mirza
You both play emotionally heavy roles, how did you both prepare for this role?
Shreya: I don’t think the word ‘victim’ belongs here. People need help because we don’t know how to navigate situations in our lives, such as when we are mentally and emotionally overloaded. I think mental health is also not given that much importance in our country. The amount of discussion on this topic over the years is not where it should be. Gray tackles a topic that’s so sweet that consent is something we haven’t talked about, sex education is something that doesn’t exist, and there are so many things that aren’t even discussed Is. When they are not discussed, how do you know something has gone wrong? And, if something has gone wrong, how do you talk about it? Do you have tools that will help you deal with something like this? There are a lot of things we don’t talk about, so navigating that system turns into something completely different. I wouldn’t use the word ‘victim’, and wouldn’t necessarily say that there was some sort of preparation involved other than the unfortunate fact that we’ve all gone through something we still don’t know how to deal with.
Lamp: I think this is a very relevant point that Shreya has raised. When I read the script, my first reaction was that every single woman would relate to this story. Because every one of us has been something like this on some level or the other. This is what sets it apart from other films. As far as preparing to take on the role of a therapist is concerned, it’s just a matter of approaching the sessions with empathy, being receptive and really listening to what the person in front of you is saying.
I’ve been in therapy and I’ve benefited from it. I think it’s important for us to generalize to the concept of getting therapy because it’s something we should be comfortable doing at some point in our lives. Another benefit of being part of Gray is the normalization of healing. It is such an integral part of the story and it will make people feel comfortable going for treatment.
Shreya: This is a heavy subject and I hope we have done it with grace.
The idea is to approach this with empathy and knowing that some people aren’t even taught about boundaries, asking for consent, noticing non-verbal cues and making weak attempts to say ‘no’.
Shreya Dhanwantri
He doesn’t remember that night the way I do… There was a line in the trailer that stood out. How does a man in your show get to see the world through a woman’s eyes?
Shreya: I don’t think our short means that one can see it through a particular gender. Unfortunately, what Diya said, women regardless of age, stature or caste are on the receiving end. The idea is to approach this with empathy and knowing that some people aren’t even taught about boundaries, asking for consent, noticing non-verbal cues and making weak attempts to say ‘no’. Not all of us have the necessary tools to be able to stand up for ourselves. Saying no is a very necessary skill, but I don’t think we all have it.
Lamp: Even for the person who is experiencing what they are. That’s what makes Gray even more special. I think it will help people to recognize that when you yourself are in a situation, why is it that you can’t refuse something in the way that is expected of you. It can be hard to say no sometimes, how do you say it? This is an area that has never been explored before. It is so necessary. I know if I was younger I would have seen this, it would have given me a lot of perspectives and would have helped me deal with a similar situation better.
Shreya: Especially when it involves someone you know, it can be hard to say ‘no’.
I know I played a big part in normalizing this ‘hunter culture’. I think the more people get educated, and thankfully with a film like Grey, more people should be educated.
Dia Mirza
Speaking of consent, how do you think Bollywood played a role in this ‘No Means Yes’ story? And how do you want to change that as women in the industry?
Lamp: Why don’t we throw it around and say that there was a film that actually helped the industry question consent in the first place. There was a very powerful line ‘No, not meant’ and there were many debates at that time. I know I played a big part in normalizing this ‘hunter culture’. I think the more people get educated, and thankfully with a film like Grey, more people should be educated. We should probably change and make up our narratives. Thankfully, Shreya and I are no longer part of those stories.
Shreya: I want to turn this question further because I think it’s unfair to put the burden of change on women when they don’t have that much control. Unfortunately, in a country like ours, this must be a trickle-down effect. Unfortunately, again, we need people in positions of power. We need male actors, people who command big salaries, have power or walk into the boardroom and do things, it would be nice if the responsibility for change was on them because they are really the movers and shakers, not Those people who are on receipt of it.
Lamp: Sakshi is only the second female director I have worked with. We need a lot more representation of our gender for things to change. And wherever it is happening, we are experiencing change.
We need male actors, people who command big salaries, have power or walk into the boardroom and do things, it would be nice if the responsibility for change was on them because they are really the movers and shakers, not Those people who are on receipt of it.
Shreya Dhanwantri
Whether it is the Kangana Ranaut-Hrithik Roshan case or the Me Too movement in Bollywood, or even the Amber Heard-Johnny Depp case, what do you think of believing in women for women, women for women? Why is it so hard to support?
Shreya: I don’t think it is true. I think this is a narrative that has been created that women are women’s worst enemies. I don’t think it’s a matter of women not trusting women, it’s a normal thing about society that women are not believed.
I think there are a lot of perceptions in the context of the media and society that use certain words when referring to women. When there is a case of assault or rape in the headlines, it is always, ‘A woman was attacked’ and never in an active voice ‘A man raped a woman’. There is a certain language and conditioning that has tipped the scales in favor of the other gender. And usually, the women had to bear the brunt.
Lamp: This is because men have monopolized the narrative. They run most of the institutions. It just lives up to this.
There is a certain language and conditioning that has tipped the scales in favor of the other gender. And usually, the women had to bear the brunt.
Shreya Dhanwantri
As a mother Diya, what is your message to all mothers, be they sons or daughters?
Lamp: Now that I work, I ask myself how will my kids react to this story? Is this something that will help them learn, understand, and respond to being more empathetic? I am sure our children will get something out of this and it will empower them. I hope I can continue to be a part of such narratives. Personally, I feel reasonable about moving away from them, otherwise, it hurts too much to be away from my kids.
How Shreya was different from co-starring with Diya Dulquer SalmaanSunny Deol in ‘Chup’ Nawazuddin Siddiqui In ‘Wonderful’?
Shreya: You really should ask them. All three have been “victims”. This time I am using the word. They have been victims of my constant singing. Everyone has faced this torture and I will continue to do so. It’s got epic!