Gyan Dena: Dear baby girl, my boy didn’t avenge my ‘marriage’ feelings

dear girl,

I know a boy from last 10 years. It’s almost like love at first sight for me. But if the first sight is to be considered only my attraction towards him, then in all these years it was not so. I really love him. For a long time it was one sided. Now, though we love each other, we cannot get married because we belong to different religions. We both don’t want to give up on our beliefs.

There is a possibility for us to convince our parents without converting. But he doesn’t want to try to take our relationship any further. I have deep affection for him. But he doesn’t care about vengeance. What do you think would be the best thing for both of us?

-stuck in love

Dear trapped in love,

It is said that ‘the road of love is never smooth’, but your roads look like a monsoon road full of potholes.

First of all, I can’t figure out whether you’re trying to drive this car on all four wheels, or just two – only yours. For you, it may be love at first, and always will, but, as it has also been said, ‘it takes two to tango’ or to dance in any way at a wedding. Looks like the love of your life doesn’t share the same readiness to tie the knot even after 10 years of your devotion.

In an interreligious marriage there are big hurdles on the part of the parents who are always concerned about the ‘society’ so it is tough even when there is 101% commitment from both the male and female side. In your case, it looks like Mr. Schister is making no effort because he himself is only 50% interested, probably less.

So, my dear lady, before you start looking at the shehnai/wedding bells, the first thing you need to make sure is if she is singing the same tune – and with the same enthusiasm. Without that guarantee, nothing will work in such a half-hearted marriage, even if you somehow bulldoze it to agree. If he is unsure for whatever reason, it is best that you steel yourself to forget about him. You may have wasted 10 years, but believe me, it is nothing compared to the whole life ahead of you.

Ask your baby girl @youaskweanswer@timesinternet.in

(Write Giving Knowledge in the subject line of your email)

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