dear girl,
I’m almost 25, and still haven’t found a single person who says they have feelings for me. It breaks my heart sometimes when I think about it. To make things worse, it happened to me twice that the girls I liked went out with my closest friends. It shattered me.
I’ve asked people what the problem is with me, and the cause of ‘low confidence’ came up most often. Please give me some wisdom on how I should feel about myself.
-love-hungry
Dear love-hungry,
First, you’re only 25, so it’s not the end of the world if you haven’t found someone willing to take care of you yet. So stop breaking your heart over this. That limb is very hard, and it will be throbbing eagerly when the next opportunity comes. Feeling like a loser will eventually make you really a loser. This is called a self-fulfilling prophecy. Your friends are right, you are unable to maintain relationships because you think you are not good enough. So stop killing yourself in a frenzy. How can a girl feel secure in a relationship, if the guy is so unsure of himself.
My guess is that you either overdo things to show your affection or are too sneaky, and therefore do less. But here’s the trick. Stop working so hard. More importantly, don’t look at every girl as a potential life partner.
First just learn to be friends. That way you may just find that the two of you are ready to take it to the next level. If she doesn’t want to, don’t push her. Friendship is priceless, don’t push it away because you are desperate to ‘settle down’. And stop asking people ‘what’s the problem with you’. This in itself is a self-degrading question, which is guaranteed to further lower your self-esteem. Just know that there is nothing wrong with you. Tell me man, why should it be?
Ask your baby girl @youaskweanswer@timesinternet.in
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Disclaimer
The views expressed above are those of the author.
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