tree climbing woman takes readers to the heart of a social world in which women exist primarily to satisfy men’s physical needs and elders are always right, who always threaten shame upon women and from time to time But do violence. Nevertheless, and this is one of the many feats that the Mumbai-based author pulls off, the novel brings to life the emotional depth and drama of women’s lives in such surroundings. As she tells her gripping story, she details household chores, physical surroundings, relationships, thoughts and feelings in loving detail, her luminous passages filled with empathy, insight and unflinching candor.
When Meena marries Manmohan at the age of 14, her mother tells her that “the only way to get married is to live as if you have no husband.” what does she mean?
When Kaveri advises Meena to live like a widow, she undergoes an age-old secret to escape the loneliness of marriage. For many of the women in the novel, the absence of a husband is more conducive to living than the presence of a husband. Meena also finds it difficult to bear the bond of marriage but impossible to break it.
After marriage, Meena moves across the border from Bihar to Nepal, to a familiar cultural setting. What is alien to her husband’s family and home, isn’t it?
Before Meena’s marriage, the barber’s wife tells her, “What is mother and motherland to a woman? They are mortal dreams. For Meena, marriage means a divorce from everything she knows. Whatever is familiar, like the cultural milieu, becomes unfamiliar as she is an outsider struggling to make a place in her husband’s household. Its rules, politics, economics and perks are contrary to his knowledge. Like a displaced person, Meena experiences intense longing and nostalgia for her childhood home.
You describe how in a society that fears and suppresses female sexuality, some women manage to find unconventional outlets for their desires. Do they pay the price?
Mina’s outlet isn’t so unconventional. She tries to have an emotional and physical relationship with her sister-in-law and loses their friendship in the process. There is no gain, only confusion and loss. Meena’s daughter Preeti also feels a strong sexual attraction towards her lover, but finds it impossible to act on that desire due to the rules of friendship. In a heterosexual society where women and girls are still oppressed, the desire for same-sex love is also the desire for a sympathetic and honest partner. Meena tells Preeti, “Girls always love girls before they love anyone else…” Growing up in a girls’ dorm, I saw love flourish between girls, so honest and unburdened A love made brittle by fear and guilt.
Of the two women who rebel, one is excommunicated, while the other, Meena, descends into madness. How were you able to capture his mental decline so clearly?
Initially, I didn’t want to talk about my experience with dementia, but the question comes up in every conversation I have about the book. Even talking about it is liberating. I come from a family of crazy women. My immediate and extended family have. It is not genetic; This is environment. Amazing, vibrant, colorful women driven mad by the oppression of demands and lovelessness. We are stingy on our love for women and adept at driving them crazy.
As a Madhesi, a Nepalese of Indian origin from the plains, Manmohan is faced with condescension from prominent hill people. How does he deal with the pressures of life?
Manmohan is ambitious, so he moves to Kathmandu. If he has to feed his family, protect his children, touch some of his dreams, he must fit into it. It’s hard for him. Like many husbands, he is a scared man outside the house, a bully inside. Despite her displacement, Meena is fearless because she is not trying to fit in.
Written by Smriti Ravindra | Photo Credit: Emmanuel Yogini
Why did you weave myths into the narrative?
You can’t write about Mithila, where the story is partly set, without myths. I spent most of my childhood in Darbhanga, where casual conversations interspersed with stories. The festival is celebrated with story-telling. Weddings are filled with raunchy, embarrassingly sexy songs that I thought it would be a crime to skip. As far as Kathmandu is concerned, how can the city of kings and temples be without stories? There is a unique story behind every street.
Some stories, what you describe as “the basket that takes time away,” are powerful. what were your sources?
Some, such as those about Janaka and Sita, come from popular sources such as the Ramayana. Others were inspired by stories I’d heard in passing, such as the one about a cow spilling its milk at a certain spot, one of the founding myths surrounding the Pashupatinath temple. Mostly, I made them. I really enjoyed writing these. I was so happy when I fixed them!
Why did you alternate between an omniscient third person narrator and Preeti’s first person point of view?
I didn’t start with this plan, but sometimes I got stuck and didn’t know how to say something from one perspective or the other. It finally seemed like a viable solution. Plus, I liked discovering a young voice, perhaps because, as a mother of a teenage son and a high-school teacher, I spend so much time with young people.
How do you find time to write?
it was difficult. Half the time I can’t remember writing the book at all! I wrote during the holidays and for a day of inspiration. It helped that the book had been ingrained in me for a long time. Sometimes I could write when I sat down to write.
The writer is a freelance journalist based in Mumbai.