But too often we are so focused on seeing our children as victims, we fail to identify the aggressor in our children. We should also try to understand what is the psychology behind bullying. What makes a child or person first of all? This does not mean that you take unreasonable measures to discipline your children, but rather helps them open up to you and understand why they engage in such violent behavior. To do this, let’s look at some triggers.
reasons for bullying children
Experts agree that children who are bullied and those who are bullied are more prone to mental and behavioral issues such as anxiety, stress, sleep difficulties, depression, and reduced performance at school or elsewhere. Therefore, as important as it is to know if your child is a victim of bullying, it is equally important to understand why another child chooses to bully in the first place.
According to stopbullying.gov, an official US website, bullying is associated with a state of power imbalance, which is why the victim of the bully is often younger, weaker and smaller than the bully. Bullying wants to feel secure, to maintain their superiority and to feel supported, which is why they prefer to resort to aggression.
Another reason may be their need to exercise control over situations and people. They are always under a perceived threat, a sense of challenge and opposition, which is why they all resort to aggression to stop the competition.
According to experts, bullying can also be the result of a domino effect, which means that a child who has been the victim of bullying himself or herself becomes a bully, imitating the actions of their attacker. That said, bullying is a learned behavior, so it should be recognized at an elementary level.
While children may not be limited to a specific reason for bullying, some aggressive behaviors can also be the result of unresolved trauma. Bullies often seem strong, powerful and in control, but they are also fragile and vulnerable. They may have been subject to family problems and issues that have made them victims of violence in the family sphere. This could have led to unresolved traumatic experiences, which in turn could have triggered their bullying streak.
These factors combined can make a child less sensitive, arrogant, controlling and aggressive. So even a bully may feel compelled to refuse to take responsibility for his or her actions.
what can parents do
As a parent, it can be difficult to gather information about everything that is happening around you, but you can always aim to create a safe, secure environment for your child. Having said that, here’s how you can stop a bullying child from parenting.
Create a safe, positive space in the home.
– Always have conversations that are productive and make the child feel important and heard.
– Educate your child about bullying and tell them why it is wrong.
– Talk about healthy competitions and explain to your child the difference of opinion.
– Teach them kindness and compassion.
How to respond?
If you find that your child is a bully, don’t react, but respond with solutions and guide them to be a better person. Here are ways you can react to your baby’s movements.
– Let the information sink in, process it and give yourself time to think about why this is happening.
– Communicate with your child, and be sure to let them do most of the talking. Respond with kindness and warmth rather than reacting with aggression.
– Once you have figured out the root of the problem, why it happened, amend the changes. Talk to your child about how he can change his ways. Let them understand why their behavior may harm another person.
– Supporting productive and meaningful results. You don’t need to be harsh, but follow it.
– Continue to monitor their behavior as well to see that you have things under control.