Let’s Talk Sex | Understanding Delayed Ejaculation: Why You Can’t Reach Orgasm When You Want To

Sex may be pervasive in our popular culture, but conversations about it are still associated with stigma and shame in Indian households. As a result, most individuals dealing with sexual health issues or trying to find information about sex often resort to unverified online sources or follow the unscientific advice of their friends.

To address the widespread misinformation about sex, News18.com is running a weekly sex column titled ‘Let’s Talk Sex’. Through this column, we hope to start a conversation about sex and address sexual health issues with scientific insight and nuance.

In this article, we will discuss what is delayed ejaculation and how can you overcome it.

Have you ever experienced the inability to reach climax when you wanted to? Maybe it takes longer than you expected, or not at all. If so, don’t worry—you’re not alone. Delayed ejaculation is a common condition that affects many men.

What is delayed ejaculation?

Delayed ejaculation (DE) is a common sexual dysfunction that can be incredibly frustrating, especially since it can occur with any type of stimulation, from intercourse to oral sex, masturbation, and even fantasies. This means that it may affect your ability to enjoy yourself with a partner or alone. DE is distinguished from the inability to ejaculate for a reason that is often psychological in nature. People with DE may have difficulty becoming or staying aroused and may have difficulty reaching orgasm. In some cases, sexual arousal may not occur at all, leading to frustration and low self-esteem. Even if they do manage to ejaculate, the time it takes them to ejaculate may be longer than normal, which can cause more discomfort.

Common Causes of Delayed Ejaculation

When it comes to delayed ejaculation, there are many possible causes. Here’s a quick look at some common culprits:

• emotional stress: Mental or emotional stress can inhibit your ability to reach orgasm, as your brain is hardwired to prioritize primary survival needs over sexual pleasure.
• physical conditions: Some medical conditions, such as diabetes, prostate problems, and nerve damage from surgery or injury, can interfere with ejaculation.
• Side effects of the drug: A variety of drugs—including antidepressants and some blood pressure meds—can hinder ejaculation by interfering with arousal signals in the brain and affecting the chemistry of our hormones.
• other factors: Other factors such as certain relationship dynamics and lifestyle choices (such as substance use) may also lead to delayed ejaculation.
  However, it is important to note that sometimes no identifiable cause can be found for delayed or interrupted orgasm, especially in cases of lifelong anorgasmia (where a person has never had an orgasm).

exercise and technique

If you want to find your own way to relieve any stress or anxiety that may be contributing to delayed ejaculation, there are exercises and techniques you can try. Many men find them beneficial, especially if they combine physical sensations with mental focus.

• Diet and Exercise: To overcome delayed ejaculation it is important to make sure that your body is healthy. Eat a balanced diet and do the right amount of exercise. Exercise helps prevent physical problems that can affect your ability to reach orgasm and also helps release feel-good hormones like endorphins, which can help reduce stress levels.
• Breathing Exercises: One of the most useful techniques for managing delayed ejaculation is focused breathing, a form of mindful meditation that can help you stay in control. Begin by sitting in a comfortable position and then become aware of the movement of your breath. As thoughts cross your mind, bring yourself back to focus on your breath.
• Erotic Exploration: The more familiar you are with the sensations before and during sex, the more likely you are to climax during the sexual act. Learning something new also helps keep things interesting. Try experimenting with different strokes and touches without penetration until you are able to identify what works best for you on a physical level, which can help reduce anxiety when engaging in sex. And can help increase arousal.
• stress reduction: Stress is one of the biggest problems when it comes to delayed ejaculation. Try meditating or doing yoga, or just spend 5 minutes on deep breathing exercises to help reduce stress levels and bring your body back into balance.
• Pelvic Floor Exercises: Often, delayed ejaculation can be caused by a weak pelvic floor, so it’s worth taking a look at the strength of this area before seeking medical advice. Strengthening the pelvic floor muscles can have an effect on the timing of orgasm, so try doing Kegel exercises for a few minutes every day – you’ll be surprised by the results!
• Sexual Orientation Treatment: Sex therapy sessions focus on re-training the body and mind to re-establish intimacy with your partner, as well as working through any underlying emotional issues that may be causing difficulty.

seek professional help

If you feel embarrassed or unsure about seeking help it is understandable but there is no need to worry. Many men experience difficulty with delayed ejaculation and there are qualified professionals with years of experience in helping people deal with this issue.

Most professionals approach the problem from a few different angles:

• Physically, they may ask questions about past injuries or surgeries, medications, hormones, and diet.
• Psychologically, they will work to understand how childhood experiences, relationship dynamics, and feelings of guilt can create an emotional block.
• In practice, they’ll look at your current behaviors, such as masturbation and sexual activity, to gain insight into what’s happening in the bedroom.

By taking a holistic approach to addressing delayed ejaculation, experienced health professionals can help you identify the cause of your difficulty achieving orgasm and find the best plan to treat it.

In conclusion, delayed ejaculation is nothing to be ashamed of, and it is not something you should try to solve on your own. Talking with your doctor or therapist can help you sort out possible causes, and learn how to manage your issues effectively and safely.

Professor (Dr) Saransh Jain is a winner of the Swasth Bharat Ratna Award and is a certified and licensed sexologist by the American Board of Sexology. He is currently Senior Consultant at Dr SK Jain’s Burlington Clinic in Lucknow. The views expressed in this article are the author’s own and do not represent the stand of this publication.