Grandparents these days are considered smart, tech-savvy and can even drive. , Photo Credit: Getty Images
The newcomers to the Indian grandparents’ set today are those born in the 1950s and 1960s, a generation that went through a sea change, especially if the middle class. Its impact on grandchildren is worth considering.
The new Indian grandmothers born in those years are the first generation of women to graduate and take up full-time employment in large numbers. They shared their child-care responsibilities with their mothers-in-law or their mothers, who belonged to the silent generation – the age group of the 1920s and 1930s.
This senior group of the “Silent Generation” had closely followed the child for the most part of their lives. Thanks to the joint family setup and close-knit society prevalent at the time, some of them may have played a large role in the upbringing of a sibling, a cousin, a relative or a neighbor in addition to their own children. Hence, most of the women of this generation had sufficient knowledge of the nuances and hence handling the grandparent phase was quite easy. The only flip factor was the fact that taking care of grandchildren in old age, when both parents went to work, was a major task.
Having turned into grandparents born in the 1960s, they now have a completely different set-up. There are many influencing factors at the entry point – most of them are working despite being close to retirement (some like me opted for voluntary retirement), their spouses are mostly retired or just about to retire, their Children are seeking careers with them. Spouses also hold high-profile jobs, their mothers and mothers-in-law are expecting support in old age (as an entitlement in return for their support earlier). So, it is a story in every family that how this “Young Grandma” manages all these challenges and tries her best to become a “Super Grandma”.
Young parents these days work with flexible timings, work from home and so on. So, grandparents are more or less like drivers now. Not working all the time, but stretching whenever needed, for any length of time. They are believed to be very smart, tech-savvy and can even drive. Hence it is believed that a lot of burden is removed from the shoulders of the new parents.
Some strong thoughts run through the minds of grandparents: “My child has a good career and I want to support him/her as much as possible; I was a super mom when I was working and can definitely continue that now…”
But the reality is different. His parents were strong in their mid and late fifties due to their early years of organic food and pollution-free living, the rigor of their diet and the lack of work-related stress. Naturally, they lose heavily on this count. They start their duties with an almost worn out body, thanking their stars if they can stay away from the drugs.
What’s more, the parent of the senior, or new grandparent, was comfortable with most of the developments in childhood and therefore experienced less stress when caring for grandchildren. However, with limited experience, juniors are not fully familiar with many aspects of child development and this continues to shake their confidence. Every issue becomes an internal whirlwind – pediatric advice, tips from peers, advice from seniors (if alive and well), search results from Google, stands taken by new parents coming from different directions.
But there is one great consolation – a lot can be outsourced these days. In the beginning, if a little grandma doesn’t know how to bathe a baby, call for help. If the body refuses to cooperate with the daily routine, hire a full-time maid. If storytelling isn’t comfortable, enroll children in “storytelling sessions” by “professional storytellers” (there are storytelling workshops for moms and grandmothers, too). If traditional sports, shlokas, classical music are to be taught, then there are special centers for that too. Of course, smart juniors can definitely move from place to place to give their grandchildren a healthy experience. In the process, we forget that they were all from the same source – the grandmother – to the previous generation.
Parenting is easy. Grandparents of some species, such as elephants living in herds, may also play some role. But it is only in the human species that grandparental parenting is as influential as parenting. Again grandparenting is effortless too. Despite all the differences between the generations, it is a fact that a Baby Boomer’s bond with their grandchildren will be no different from what previous generations enjoyed. And the joy that a Generation Y or Generation Z grandchild brings to their grandparents is no different.
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