Being a woman is hard work and I say work because being a woman means working. Your worth is always determined by your ability to do certain things. , Photo credit: Illustration by Priya Sebastian
“Have you heard about the cow that kept losing her calves?” Aunty asked.
“No,” I said. “What happened to him?”
“She would get pregnant, but each time she would lose her babies at about six or seven months. Her womb would refuse to stay closed and they would slip out. This happened five times. The sixth time, she carried her pregnancy to term. did and gave birth to a calf that lived and thrived. Many years later, when she died, the owner killed her for meat as was usually done when livestock became old or was of no use. When they opened it, he saw that it had holes in its heart. It only meant that it could not be consumed. They took it out and inspected it closely. He found that it had There were five holes in the heart.
“One for every calf he lost,” I whispered.
“Yes,” she said.
“What did the owner do?” I asked, hoping he had buried the poor cow.
“He didn’t bury it,” said Auntie. “I know that’s what you would like to hear. The owner was from a humble financial background and meat was hard to come by. They killed him and ate the meat. But that’s why I didn’t tell you this story. I’m telling you because something happened here today. happened and I want you to learn something from it. You saw what happened with Hafiza Mehndi, I nodded.
Hafiza was a young woman who lived in a village. The next day was his marriage. We just came back from her house where she had a small ceremony Mehndi, we had finished dinner where hot rice was served tchervaen (Organ meat cooked in a rich onion gravy with spices). mehndi wali came and falsely promised all the other girls that she would apply henna Even in his hands, she began to work on the bride.
When Mehndi Hafiza was being told that another girl from the village had arrived. His name was Farhana. She had been married for a few years, but had no children. As time passed, the reasons for her inability to have a child changed from day to day. Some would say that she was cursed by a former lover whose heart she broke for marrying a husband who was financially better off. Others would say that it was because she practiced black arts in secret and was now being punished by God. Ugly accuses her of being too beautiful and not doing enough to hide her beauty. The reasons for her infertility changed depending on the storyteller, but the blame, which was always laid at her door, never changed its course.
When she walked down the street, women would often turn around and pretend to be busy so that they would not have to exchange pleasantries with her. After all, she was cursed. so when she turned on Mehndi, It caused quite a stir. The bride and her mother were speechless.
He has no shame, muttered the mother under her breath.
We all tried not to make eye contact with Farhana. We expected her not to come and sit near us. It would be embarrassing and if the rumors are anything to go by, none of us wanted to be associated with him. She may have been naïve enough to attend a wedding that no one had invited her to, but she wasn’t stupid enough not to notice that as soon as she walked in, everyone Became calm and cool. She scanned the room a second time and then, as if remembering something she had left at home, turned and left. Even after they left, we all sat in silence, unable to prepare ourselves to get back into the festive mood. It was only when the silence scared the children and they started crying that we managed to resume the singing and dancing.
I had seen Auntie go out of the door behind Farhana and come back alone after a while. She remained silent on the way home. at home, she took off her black Keep (the top part of a cashmere Burqa) and went to the kitchen. she sat down next to her favorite spot Donation (earthen stove) and smoked two cigarettes in complete silence. When he finished smoking, he told me the story of the cow that kept losing her calves.
Being a woman is hard work and I say work because being a woman means working. Your worth is always determined by your ability to do certain things. There are many things a woman must possess before she can be given the title of being a ‘good woman’ and this title is always awarded posthumously. You’re probably too young to understand this now, but it’s probably better to start this part of your education early. When the cow kept losing her calves, everyone thought it couldn’t affect her too much because she is an animal. But his pain and sorrow had changed the entire geography of his heart and the only way out was when they cut him. What do you think we would see if we untied Farhana? How many holes do you think we’ll get? I want you to think of that cow the next time you see Farhana. I want you to think of that cow every time you see someone say something that disrespects another woman.
She was right, I didn’t understand exactly what she was trying to tell me at the time, but there would come a time when I would feel the full power of every single word she said that day. One day a very dear friend got a hole in his heart. Later, I came to know about a close aunt. Years later, one appeared in my heart, followed by the next year and then another and another, until I stopped counting.
Saba Mahjoor, a Kashmiri living in England, spends her free time contemplating the uncertainties of life.