Happiness is a positive emotion and should never be born out of someone else’s sadness or trouble. , Photo credit: Getty Images/Stock
An The 80-year-old was being taken to an old age home. He was happy, talking about the wonderful time he was about to have. When asked how he could be so happy when he had not even seen the place, he replied, “What difference does it make? I have decided to be happy.
Since time immemorial philosophers have talked about the basic principles of human happiness – the pursuit of pleasure and the avoidance of pain. Happiness is the acceptance of a relationship or situation with a sense of contentment, not resignation. It is a positive emotion and should never be triggered by someone else’s suffering or discomfort, because happiness is not a zero-sum game.
Jealousy and suspicion are the biggest obstacles to a happy state. A positive attitude helps a person count his blessings, keep grudges away and treat others well. Happiness comes from optimism, tempered by a sense of reality. As author Brian Vasili says, “If being happy is important to you, try this: Instead of lamenting all your shortcomings, celebrate what you have.”
Every kid in play school sings the song, “If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands.” When is a person happy? One can never really say. It is a very personal condition, as unique as your fingerprint, characterized by a sense of well-being, happiness or contentment. When someone is successful or secure or lucky, he feels happy. It brings a smile to his face, a song on his lips or a spring in his step. Happiness is like a gift hamper. Different people put different things into it at different times in their lives. Money, success, family, promotion, goal achievement, work-life balance, jewellery, clothes, shoes and what have you – happiness, like a rainbow, is such a wonderful thing!
Never try to judge someone else’s “happy state”. For workaholics, work is joy. For an elderly person, the only way to be healthy is to be happy. A teenager needs his friends, a sportsman his game. This may mean singing karaoke for someone, playing cards for someone, and climbing a mountain for someone else. A good book and a hot cup of tea in a hut on top of a hill can be one’s idea of bliss. Work may mean happiness to Mrs. X, while “anything but work” may bring happiness to Mr. Y.
A source of joy can be when you see a task that you have accomplished to the best of your ability.
Marketing gurus have made some generalizations that will please the majority. These have become the standards on which leave, consumer goods or salary packages are based. Hotels and lounges also offer “Happy Hour” based on this understanding!
Are you happy with something you have got, are getting or are likely to get? Have you accepted your circumstances and are happy because of or in spite of the circumstances of your life? If the foundation of our happiness is in the outside world, as it is for most of us, then the slightest storm is likely to bring that structure down. Happiness becomes an emotion, which ebbs and flows with time and circumstances, naturally transitory like the sand castles we build on the seashore. Many successful, good looking or rich people are unhappy inside despite fame and fortune. A new acquisition, a recognition, an award or the addition of a new member to the team or family – these are all ripples in the sands of time. Ultimately what remains with us, with whom we ultimately spend the most time, is ourselves. The kingdom of happiness is in the mind. As Goldie Hawn rightly said, “The only thing that will make you happy is being happy with who you are.”
Success guru Tony Robbins advises us to “manage our kingdom”—to “wake up the giant,” and enjoy lasting happiness. He says that happiness in life is not just about achieving goals. Life is about who you become in pursuit of those goals. How you feel constantly is what matters. In the final analysis, it is not the possession of material things or otherwise that guarantees one’s happiness. Waiting for someone else to make you happy is the best way to be unhappy. But if the roots of happiness are within, not even a whirlwind can topple them. That’s why wise people advise us to build a house of happiness within ourselves. In a world that is essentially transitory, similar to the Indian concept of Maya, we need to build up our inner strength for long-term peace and equanimity.
To quote Helen Keller, “Your success and happiness lies within you. Be happy and resolve to keep your joy and you will be an invincible host against difficulties. That is the oasis we need to nurture, To turn around at the end of the day and say, “I’m happy to be myself!”
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